I promise you , not ALL my Blogs will be about my Falling Out Of Love With Facebook , but you know how it is at the end of a Relationship....Your mind is full of Reflections.....All the Good Things and Bad Things swilling around in your head, like tea leaves in a cup. I guess it's all part of The Process, where you're trying to convince yourself that you're doing The Right Thing , and not making a huge mistake.
You may say that being on a Social Networking site is actually not a big deal, and that I am spending FAR too much time on a subject that is very trivial. And you'd be absolutely right. And therein lies the problem. Depression is a Mental Illness. And Mental Illness means that the "normal" workings of the mind are disturbed. And when these are disturbed , to whatever extent , things take on different levels of importance. Most of the "Hate" in my "Love/Hate" relationship with Facebook stems from the fact that I hate myself for becoming so addicted to the bloody thing. And when you are Depressed , your Self Esteem is already Shot To Pieces any way , so you don't really need any additional self-loathing.....You already have sufficient levels to get you by.
And because you are not very keen on yourself , you then become very "Needy" , and silly little things such as someone telling you that they "Like" what you've said , or a photo that you've taken , takes on FAR more importance than it should , and can become all-consuming. I remember when I was Backpacking in Australia many years ago , and went through a period of bad Homesickness, and you become obsessed by receiving a letter or phone call from home , and can think of nothing else.....Very similar emotions.....Seems daft when you're feeling "strong" , but not nearly as daft when you're not.
As I said in my previous Blog , when I was a Drinker , I was not very good at just having A Quiet Pint.....If I had one , it usually had to turn into A Session.....And I have been much the same with FB.....I don't seem to know when to stop.....One Witty Remark leads to another,one photo of the Sea becomes 10 , and before I know it, I'm waking up in Bed with a huge Hangover and a slight feeling of guilt and emptiness. I guess I'm not very good at Moderation. I'm bloody good at Abstinence....I gave up both Smoking and Drinking over 20 years ago without any difficulties , so I guess that's the answer.
The other problem is that we all only have a limited supply of Creativity. I have been using up all of mine on FB , leaving no time or space to explore other avenues. I would like to try many other things.....Watercolour Painting , Poetry , Stone Carving , Guitar playing.....Maybe even learning to ride that Unicycle I bought last year........Procrastination has always been my main talent in life......It's about time that I made my "Tomorrow" arrive Today........